A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking, saying, “Walk much?”

A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend will ask you if you’re okay when you’re crying. A best friend will laugh at you and say, “Haha, loser!”

A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.

A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.

A good friend gives you their umbrella when it rains. A best friend takes yours and yells, “Run, bi***, run!”

A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend will be in the room next to you, saying, “That was awesome! Let’s do it again!”

A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won’t tell anyone else that you cried.

A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.

A good friend will leave you behind if that’s what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the crowd’s butts for leaving you.

A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.

A good friend tells you that she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries with you.

A good friend will ask you why you’re crying. A best friend won’t say anything when you start crying for no reason, but will just sit down and cry with you.

A good friend will help you learn to drive. A best friend will help you roll the car into a lake so you can collect insurance.

A good friend will watch your pets when you go away. A best friend won’t let you go away.

A good friend will go to a concert with you. A best friend will kidnap the band with you.

A good friend will hide you from the cops. A best friend is probably the reason they’re after you in the first place.

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